


Chaos Makes Love

by oakleyfraser4



Series: John Murphy & Emori's Forever [6]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Missing Scene, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:49:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25355779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oakleyfraser4/pseuds/oakleyfraser4
Summary: When Murphy finds out Emori is pregnant...the reaction is not what you think. (yes Emori is pregnant, literally I stand by this to no end)This is connected to "Dance With Me" (previously written fanfic) but it is not necessary you read that to understand this one.Nikki also has a small cameo/perspective in this fanfic! It was really interesting writing for her, because I'm still mad at her for pointing a gun at my babies. But she's kinda cool, not gonna lie.*SPOILERS up until 7x09 'The Flock'*
Relationships: Emori & John Murphy (The 100), Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Nikki & Hatch (The 100), Nikki/Hatch (The 100)
Series: John Murphy & Emori's Forever [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760818
Comments: 26
Kudos: 34





	1. Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> Well I'm back and with a story I'm kinda happy with but we'll see. It's nearly 3am while I write this (I was determined to get this out ASAP so working until 3am seemed like the solution) I'm kinda iffy about it but yeah, idk. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy Part 1!
> 
> The prequel fic to this is called [Dance With Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25143301). Not necessary you reaad it first but definitely check it out if you want a bit of context.

Emori’s heart was beating faster than ever. Nikki’s gun was pressed tightly against her head and it was beginning to throb at the pressure point. Besides that, she felt nauseous and her stomach hurt. What a day she was having. When she woke up, she had tried to make Sanctum a better place for the nulls and their parents, reuniting them in the way she wished she could’ve been reunited with her parents. A lot of emotions had washed over Emori in those few minutes, until Nelson’s father had screwed everything up. Maybe it wouldn’t be a good idea for Emori to meet her biological parents. Better off to stay where she was loved.

Emori had tried to warn John to not come save her. She didn’t want him to make a hot-headed mistake and come storming in with nothing to his name. He wasn’t Daniel Lee. She wasn’t Kaylee Lee. They were John Murphy and Emori and they were in love. And together they were going to have a baby.

The thought of the realism in that statement made Emori’s breathing quicken. A baby. What a scary, scary word. Back on Earth, any set of parents expecting a child prayed and prayed for no birth defects. No reason to get rid of their child. Clearly Emori’s parents had either not prayed at all or didn’t hope hard enough, because Emori wasn’t born “perfect”. She was at fault for her own physical faults that she didn’t even ask for. The words  _ mutant _ and  _ freikdreina _ crashed into her thoughts and Emori felt sick again.

She had been wondering how John would react for days now. While they danced last night, carefree and unthreatened, she had wanted to tell him. Now, with death looming over her head, she wanted nothing more than to tell him. But Nikki wouldn’t let her speak in the mic again, not after the stunt she pulled last time. And besides, telling John through a speaker would just make him want to come to the palace faster. Emori couldn’t bear it if the man she loved died at the cost of her. She wouldn’t have that. She couldn’t lose him. He was her everything and she was nothing without him.

Maybe if they survived today, both put in cells instead of shot through the head she could tell him. They didn’t exactly wait until things were calm to announce big news. It was right after McCreary and his crew blew up in that cave that they had had their makeout session that may have jump-started their relationship again. Or when it looked like John was going to die before the bombs hit, Emori chose that moment to profess her bottled-up love for him. Calmness was never a time for big reveals, right? She knew she had to tell him. And she couldn’t die before that.

When he burst into the palace with Sheidheda-Russell Lightbourne no more-Emori’s heart dropped. Her eyes immediately went to find John’s and his gaze held hers. Concern flooded through the blue pools in his eyes and Emori knew though things weren’t ideal, they were going to be okay. Until Nikki roughly shoved her forward and the floor looked like the next place she’d end up. John caught her, as he always did and whispered some words in her ear that made her breath again. Indra was coming.

Before he called her ‘his girl’. Before, he was willing to sacrifice himself for her and even had his own turn with a gun against his head because Nikki felt like it. She was hurting after losing the man she loved most of all. Emori couldn’t relate to Nikki; she still had her love. But she knew if anyone hurt John she’d do anything in her power to avenge his death. She’d do anything for the life growing inside her and she hadn’t even met the baby yet. Love was a funny thing. But would love be enough?

Emori knew John loved her for her faults. He loved her for who she was and didn’t blink an eye at her hand anymore. He never did. And he made others respect her for it. Would he feel differently if that same deformity appeared on a child? Would he still want the child, knowing he was partly at fault for creating a possibly “unperfect” child. Emori had never known her parents but she had prayed that they never intended to give her up. That’s why, until John came along, she blamed her mutated hand for all the pain she had been caused. But he made her realize it was really her parents’ fault for not being able to see past her physical self. They never gave who she was as a person, a chance.

Emori had to tell him. Regardless of his reaction, he had to know. She was going to love this baby with everything she had. And if she had to lose John in the process, though it broke her heart, she was prepared to do so. She wasn’t going to let her child be cast out because of something it couldn’t control. She had to be different. She had to survive, but she had to survive for her child and Murphy. She wanted both.

But in a world of life of death, sometimes you didn’t get a choice. Sometimes you get one or the other. And in this world, on this planet, getting a choice didn’t seem very likely. When the bullets rang out, Emori wanted nothing more than to be safe in a cave with the man she loved and their unborn child. Maybe one day, maybe one day.

~

Nikki could see the fear in Emori’s gaze. She could see the haunting stare. She knew the look all too well.

As chaotic as her life was, Hatch was always the one person that made it stable. It was true, she was into the bank robberies for the chaos, him for the money. But she loved him. She really loved him. They had done so much it seemed too unbelievable for him to be gone. Screw Raven Reyes.

Nikki wasn’t even angry at Murphy and Emori. They did have an advantage going into the reactor room but they were not the ones who got Hatch killed. Unfortunately they were the ones she was able to be angry at. Beating the crap out of Raven wasn’t enough. She needed revenge. And clearly these two were some of Raven’s closest friends so she needed to use them to hurt Raven. She needed to hurt Raven good.

Before McCreary shot those missiles on Earth, Nikki had heard that their pilot, Miles Shaw, had a girl he loved. After doing some asking around, that girl turned out to be Raven. Such a shame that Shaw would never get to meet the end of Nikki’s shotgun because he was already dead. Nikki wanted to make Raven feel the pain she felt when she saw her husband’s face, lifelessly lying there. She wanted her husband back.

But that wasn’t going to happen. Raven made sure of that when she sent Hatch into the reactor room, filled with radiation to do a job the so-called mechanic was too chicken to do herself. So Nikki was going to make Raven pay. She was going to make everyone feel the hurt she felt. So she fingered the gun that Hatch had given her days ago and tucked it into her cargo pants pocket. He’d carved her name on the bottom with his knife.

Nikki was far from sane. She lived for the chaos of life. But she was also still a human. A human with feelings and hope and dreams like any other. She wanted things for herself. She had wanted things for her and Hatch. A palace was one of them. Maybe that’s why she took such a liking to ruining Murphy and Emori’s lives. She wanted what they had; each other. She wanted “together” again with her husband. She wanted to grow old with him. Children had never been her thing but if Hatch wanted them maybe she would’ve relented a bit. Though she’d always need the chaos back. 

Chaos. That’s what she liked best. That was Nikki’s place of control, in a situation of no control. Sounds weird to think about, but it’s true. That’s why Nikki held hostages and like last time, she wasn’t afraid to shoot them. Though it would be unfortunate to shoot Emori. She had started to like the stupid girl in the blue dress. And it would be a shame to kill her unborn child. It didn’t take anything with half a brain cell to see she was pregnant. Nikki wondered if Murphy knew, and that’s why he was fighting so hard for her. Seemed like he just loved her. That’s why having Emori as a hostage made it all the better reason to convince Murphy, Russell and Raven to come to the palace at her instruction. Nothing would come between a father and the love for his child, right?

So Nikki holds Emori hostage, pressing the end of the gun that reminds her of Hatch to Emori’s skull, wanting more than anything to get revenge. Just like last time, she was willing to kill for chaos. She was willing to kill for Hatch’s death to be avenged. She was willing to do everything and anything. Nikki would not back down. Backing down showed weakness. She would never put her gun down. Not even when Murphy burst into the palace to save ‘ _ his girl _ ’ without Raven Reyes in sight. He used words to describe Emori that Hatch used to use to describe Nikki. Her cold heart shattered more with every glance Murphy and Emori exchanged. Maybe Nikki was even jealous of their love that continued to live and that’s why she chose to take revenge on them. Nikki felt uncertain and unstable.

But then Nikki puts her gun down. She puts it down and she steps back and her gaze darts from Murphy to Emori to the gun on the ground. She put Hatch away. She just  _ put him away _ . She was down on her knees. And she felt weak. Chaos was not in her mind right now. Chaos was not a time and place for this moment. Chaos didn’t feel right without him. Truth, she liked the chaos and Hatch liked the money. But she liked the chaos with Hatch. Without him, it didn’t feel the same.

Nikki hoped that she could have her own happy ending. Well screw that. Though she would never not blame Raven Reyes. Until the last breath left her body, Nikki would be on the warpath with the woman who ended her chaos. Bang bang, Raven, bang bang. It would only end there.

~

Murphy wasn’t exactly smart.

Almost getting Emori and him killed was the first mistake. Telling Wonkru Sheidheda was back was the second. And bursting into the palace after Sheidheda had massacred the Sanctumites just because he wanted to be a frickin’ hero was his final mistake. Now, lying in the bed he hadn’t wanted to leave that morning, Murphy was thinking about all his dumb choices and mistakes that he had made over the past few days. Damn him. Being a hero sucked.

The one thing that Murphy had never considered as mistake, was finding Emori in the middle of the dead zone. It was definitely not luck or fate, because who even believed in that. Sounds like a Prime thing. But for some godforsaken reason Murphy met Emori and she was his everything. His love. His forever. His future wife. He wanted forever with her. And it terrified him earlier to know she was being held at the mercy of a crazy woman out to get revenge on her dead husband. Goddammit, why did Raven have to drag them into such horrible situations? Murphy wasn’t Nikki, thank the stars, and chaos was not a needed pastime. He was good with Emori and nothing else. No one else to impede on his future. He didn’t want to feel responsible for another life to protect. It had scared him when Emori’s was threatened, and he needed to throw his body on top of hers. He would always try to protect her no matter what. But it was only going to be him and her for the rest of their lives. The happy ending they deserved.

Murphy was scared that Emori was hiding something from him. She had been acting weird lately. Throwing up when she thought he didn’t see. Recovering slower after intaking that radiation from the reactor room, even though Murphy had been exposed to almost as much. He was worried about her. If Emori was sick, he needed to know. He needed to make sure his girl was okay. She was going to be okay.

It wasn’t until Emori shook her head just slightly at Murphy that he knew what it was. It hit him like a bullet and yes he knew what that felt like because it had happened many times. He knew because she was scared for him and wanted him to survive for more than one reason. Emori was pregnant. 

Murphy didn’t want it to be true. He couldn’t bear to imagine protecting not just his and Emori’s lives, but their child. His parents had never been around much for the rest of his childhood and he was afraid of what was going to happen. He wasn’t father material. Hell, he wasn’t much material of a man at all. He was enough for Emori, and that was enough for life. But to be a father for a child? That wasn't going to be easy. 

Murphy had told himself it wasn’t true. He had told himself as he stared at her, shock in his eyes. He had told himself it wasn’t true when he stormed in on Sheidheda’s massacre. He had told himself it wasn’t true when he and Emori climbed the stairs to their room. He even managed to convince himself it wasn’t true. Then Emori told him the news he didn’t want to hear. 

He reacted. And he reacted badly. He told her he couldn’t do it. He told her he couldn’t be a father. He asked her to please not make him do this. He could barely protect Emori without someone else, such as Indra, needing to come to his rescue. So how in hell could he protect another life, a life that was half of him? Goddammit the fear washing over him even now, hours later, was more than a wave. It was a tsunami. 

Emori wouldn’t choose. She wouldn’t choose between him and the baby. Murphy took that as his decision and got up and moved to sleep outside on the same balcony they danced on last night. Emori hadn’t said anything as she watched him go. But lying outside on the cold ground made Murphy think his decision was wrong. He missed Emori curling up against him. He wanted to feel her skin on his. He wanted her back. But how? He messed up and he messed up good.

Again, Murphy wasn’t very smart. Instead, he survived. He wasn’t smart but he survived. Maybe that was the catch. Maybe that was how he kept to himself and Emori all these years. Because they survived. Clearly Emori didn’t want to just survive anymore; she wanted to live. 

Murphy didn’t know what to do. Without Emori, his life was back to being meaningless and nothing. He wanted her. He  _ needed _ her. And he was willing to give this fatherhood thing a try for her. Screw it, maybe he wouldn’t be too bad at it. Maybe the child would grow on him. The child could even like him. What a first. It couldn’t be too bad, right? Two broken souls raising a child.  _ Definitely _ nothing wrong with that.

Murphy stood up and brushed off his clothes. He was going to tell Emori he was sorry. The cockroach was sorry. He, John Murphy, was willing to do what was necessary to keep his girl as  _ his _ . He needed to. Murphy had made enough mistakes in his life, and until now Emori had always been something he never saw as a mistake. He was determined to keep it like that. So he took one step, then another, until he was at the bedroom door that Emori was in and he raised his hand to knock. A step into the world of chaos, he thought. A step he was ready for. But was Emori?


	2. Makes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did not intend to change this to be 3 parts, until I started writing part 2.
> 
> Sorry to make y'all wait for part 3, but it'll be longer, I promise. This was kinda a filler chapter if you wanna call it that, but I still liked it. Hope you enjoyed this part ;)

_“John, I have something to tell you.” Emori stared down at her hands, nervous._

_Murphy looked up. He was tired but he would always make time for Emori. “What is it?” He asked. Emori gazed back at him, her eyes darting back and forth. Murphy, seeing she was concerned, crossed the room to sit with her on the edge of the bed. He took Emori’s hand in his and smiled reassuringly at her. “It’s okay.”_

_The suspense was killing him, but he wasn’t about to make Emori more nervous and pressure her to rush. She glanced down, then cast her eyes to meet his, before saying, “John, I’m pregnant.”_

_The news hit him like a bullet. Fast and deadly. It stopped his heart and in all honesty, it was worse than when his heart actually stopped and he went to hell. He couldn’t breathe because his brain’s priority was processing the news he was just hit with. “You’re pregnant?” He repeated, still dumbfounded._

_Emori nodded. “Yes.” There wasn’t anything else she could say. The ball was in Murphy’s court now._

_What he said next, he would later regret. He said it out of shock and anger and he said it not meaning it. In his distraught anger, he blurted out, “I can’t do it.”_

_“Can’t do what?”_

_Murphy’s throat burned. “I can’t be a father. Please don’t make me do this.”_

_There was a long pause. When Emori spoke again, there were tears in her eyes. “You can’t make me choose, John. I won’t choose between you and this baby. I can’t make you do anything, but in turn you can’t put me in this position. Just like on the ring, you wanted me to choose you over something or someone else. I’m sorry I can’t choose. I don’t think life should be about making these kinds of choices. Maybe that’s my problem. But I can’t choose.”_

_There was more they exchanged. Confusion, disappointment and fear washed over the pair of them, as they faced their reality. In the end it was Murphy who got up out of bed and walked to the balcony. He left Emori, all alone in their room. When he had turned away, she had been close to tears. Murphy knew he messed up. But there was truth in his statement; he wasn’t ready to be a father and he didn’t know if he would ever be. Though the decision clearly wasn’t his to make. Fate had made it for him._

~

It was late when Murphy knocked lightly on the bedroom door. Unlike Raven, he knew how to knock. Next time he saw her, whenever that was going to be, he’d be sure to teach her that tapping the wood frame made the occupants of the room much happier.

His palms were sweaty, and he wasn’t really sure what he was going to say to Emori when the door opened. He just knew he had to right his wrongs. He couldn’t let the girl he loved get away because he wasn’t ready to love all of her. Her flaws, her big heart and her hand no matter what. It also included the part of growing inside of her that was half of him; their child. His stomach jumped into his throat at those words. He wasn’t ready to be a father. He wasn’t a good person and he sure as hell didn’t want a child in his life. Madi was one thing. But a baby? Clearly a responsibility he couldn’t handle. 

Murphy could barely keep himself safe, let alone the girl he loved. A child would just mess everything up. He was sure of it. He was sure that this was a mistake, that his life was a lose-lose situation. But he wasn’t going to make Emori choose.

The door opened slowly, leaving Murphy to abandon his thoughts. All that he cared about was the girl in front of him, right? That’s all that mattered. “Hey,” he said, taking in the sight before him. His girl looking down, not meeting his gaze but at the same time, he could tell she wanted to say many things to him. “Are you okay?”

Emori let out a short laugh and her eyes met his. He wasn’t surprised to see a flash of anger in them. “I’m just great,” she spat out. “Couldn’t be better.”

“That’s a lie if I know it.” Murphy couldn’t help but respond. This was _Emori_ , the girl he knew just as well as he knew himself. He had loved her since he first talked to her in the dead zone. _Get your shit together, Murphy_ , he said to himself. “Sorry,” he said, looking at the ground.

Emori didn’t say anything for a second. “If that’s your apology for what you said earlier, I don’t want to hear anything else.” She started to close the door, but Murphy stopped it from slamming with his foot.

“Emori, listen to me.” He waited, wondering if she was going to trust him again.

Emori sighed and stopped trying to shut the door on his foot. “What?”

Murphy cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. That’s all I have to say because saying anything else would take away from the simple point that I’m sorry.” His voice got more high pitched as he continued. “I know I’m not perfect, or even close for that matter, but for you and our unborn child, I will be. Not want to. Not will try to. I will be the dammest close thing I can be to perfect, because that’s what you and our baby deserve. You both deserve someone that’s not me. You deserve a man who isn’t bruised and broken. And I’m sorry I can’t give you someone like that, but I can give you someone who’s going to try harder.” There were real tears in his eyes as he stared at Emori. He hoped that maybe she would find some way to get back to him, like they did when he had broken her heart.

“John, I-” Emori didn’t know what to say. 

“Emori, please.” Murphy cut Emori off. “Please, I’m begging you, forgive me.”

Silence. Murphy felt like sinking to the floor because he knew he screwed up big time. Maybe Emori would never forgive him. It would be fair if she didn’t forgive him right away. He deserved the silence.

When Emori spoke again, Murphy could hear the emotion in her voice. “I will always love you and try to see the best in you,” Emori began. “But I need more time. Just hours ago you broke me because you thought that a decision such as wanting a child, was only yours to make. And I’m sorry that you felt that way. But it was never a one-sided speculation. We both created this life and we both should be responsible for that life. I need some time, John. I need time to learn that you won’t go away just because something seems hard in the moment.”

It was like a slap in the face, but he knew it was necessary. Which is why he nodded and said, “Okay.” He stepped back, and moved his foot out of the door opening. “I love you.”

Emori gave him a small smile. “I know.” Then the door shut, with his future on the other side.

Murphy knows that no matter what, he will earn Emori’s love back. He will prove to her that he can be there for her even if things aren’t easy. He will make her see that he's worth it. And that’s a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you can! I'll also be posting this on my fan account (@memoriisendgame on Instagram) so feel free to leave a comment there instead :)


	3. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was on a fanfic-writing high after posting part 1 of 'Level Eleven' (a Levtavia fanfic) just a couple hours ago. Which gave me the motivation to completely finish this fanfic.
> 
> It's been a wild ride with this one. I first had the idea when I wrote 'Dance With Me' that it should have a sequel. Then it was only supposed to be 2 parts. Now here we are with part 3. Thanks for sticking around and showing support on this wack journey of a fanfic.
> 
> Enjoy this final part!

Emori’s stomach churned, and for once it wasn’t her feeling sick. Well, she felt sick but it wasn’t because of the baby. It was because she had just shut the door on John and everything seemed to fall apart all over again. Sure, a relationship didn’ come without a few squabbles here and there but this was different. This was a life changing moment and the midst of it, John backed away. He said he couldn’t. And left her all alone.

Except she wasn’t exactly alone. She had this unborn life growing inside of her, and it scared the hell out of her. It was too early for the baby to be anything more than a tink inkling of life, but it was still something. Something that was part her, and part the man she loved. Even after all that had gone on in the past few hours, she still loved him. And she wouldn’t ever stop loving him. He was her everything, and it’s probably for that reason, that she was so distraught over his reaction to her news.

He acted as though it was only his decision to make. Well screw that. It wasn’t just his decision. He now needed to make decisions after thinking about how it would affect Emori, and their child. Which is probably what scared John the most; commitment. Sure, he felt he had enough security with Emori to be able to show commitment. But a child? That was something you could  _ never _ leave because it was unfair and unkind. Both Emori and John had had terrible parents; Emori’s had cast her out for something she couldn’t help and John’s mother blamed him for his father’s death, though it wasn’t really his fault. Seems like a cruel punishment, two unlovable souls now having to try to change their ways with a child of their own. Whoever cast this upon them didn’t know the two of them every well.

Or maybe they did. Because Emori had seen John at his weakest, but she had never seen him beg to her before. She had never seen such nervous vulnerability in his clear blue eyes. She had wanted to believe him in that moment, she really did. But after the words he had told her earlier, she was still uncertain.

Little did Emori know, John was going to do his very best to win her trust over again, and prove to her how much she really meant to him.

~

For the next couple days, though things were still tense in Sanctum and between John and Emori, John still managed to do all that he could to show his love to Emori. He brought her meals every day, talked to her when she was free and not when she was busy and took on a few hard jobs that he knew she would appreciate. It wasn’t until late in the evening on the third day, that John suspected he was making any progress with Emori. She had smiled at him, a real, genuine Emori-smile that made him smile back. She quickly turned back to her stoic expression, but he saw it there.

Emori was slowly forgiving John. She appreciated the work he was doing and the meals he was bringing her. But what she really wanted, was for him to prove to the baby that he wanted it. She knew he loved her and would always love her. However it was the baby she was still wary about. And even though Emori said she would never choose between John or their child, she would still protect her child under all costs.

John didn’t know of Emori’s wishes of what she really wanted him to do. Though he wasn’t acting stupid anymore so he finally put some of his brain cells together and was working on a project for Emori. He wasn’t very good with his carpentry skills, so he enlisted some help from the convicts. Surprisingly, they were useful in building what he wanted, and it was finished in a matter of days. All he had to do was promise them Jo Juice. Easy enough.

Emori was resting in bed when she heard John’s knock. She always knew it was him as he had a special way to let her know it was him. Three quick raps and then a pause. Three seemed to be their number these days, what with adding another to their couple.

_ Rap, rap, rap. Pause _ . “Emori, are you there?”

She wasn’t feeling so great and didn’t feel like going to the door. “Come in,” Emori called out, cringing at how weak her voice sounded. 

John entered the room, but he kept back from Emori to give her a little bit of space. “Hi.” 

Emori lay back on the pillows. “Hi.”

“Are you okay?” John was genuinely concerned for his girl. He only wished he could run over to her and smother her in kisses, wanting to do anything to make her feel better.

“I’m fine.” Emori feigned a smile and propped herself up on the pillows. “What’s up? Is something wrong?”

“No, not at all. Uh…” John didn’t really know how to start. He was hiding something but Emori was off her game and couldn’t tell John was nervous. So she just looked distant as John stumbled over his words as he always did around Emori, it seemed. “I have a surprise for you.”

“You do? Wasn’t it me with a surprise last time that you didn’t like?” Letting out a short laugh, Emori immediately realized she was being unkind. “I’m sorry, it’s the hormones.”

John’s eyes crinkled and he nodded, understandingly. “It’s okay. Would you like to see my surprise?” 

Emori nodded, though she was weary of what the surprise could be. John left the room for a moment and re-appeared with a large something. “What  _ is _ it?” Emori asked, forcing her tired self to move and sit nearer to the large wooden structure.

“Let me show you.” John’s heart was nervously beating. He hoped that this gift or whatever would prove to Emori that he wanted to be there for her and their child no matter what. Because that was the honest truth. Sure, he may have been a little hasty to back out, but he was The Cockroach. Even though it wasn’t the best, John Murphy being John Murphy kept him alive. Now though, he had to think about keeping other lives around too. Which made him a lot more stressed but he would do it. He had to. Emori and this new, unborn baby was his family.

When John stepped to the side to reveal what his surprise was, Emori was stunned. “Did you make that?” She asked. 

John shrugged. “Yeah. Some of the convicts helped, you know. I’m not that talented or anything.”

Emori’s face lit up. “John, it’s, it’s beautiful.” A second glance at Emori made John realize there were tears in her eyes. He rarely saw his girl cry, and their fight a few nights ago and been one of the only other times. Luckily John was able to tell that this time they were happy tears.

John had constructed, by hand with minimal help, a wooden bassinet. It was about bed height and already had a soft down blanket nestled on the bottom. The gesture of him making such, completely unprovoked to express his love for this baby made her weak. There was absolutely no way he was just doing things to get her back on his side now. Not with something like this. This meant something. Emori and him were never “grand gesture” people. They were good with living low and enjoying each other’s company amidst a cave. But this, this was something else. It meant that John was going to give all he got, no matter what the cost or the risks, for this child.

The tears overflowed and Emori began to cry for real. John was hesitant to touch Emori, but in the end he gave in and stepped towards her, engulfing her in a big hug. She fell against him and buried her face into his shirt, soaking it with tears. John didn’t mind; he was just happy to have his girl back in his arms. The past few nights he had been sleeping out on the balcony which was cold and uncomfortable. But if that’s what it took to get Emori back, that was what it took. He’d had a lot worse happen to keep to her safe, and he didn’t regret any of it.

“Does this mean you’re okay with it? The baby, I mean.” Emori asked.

John smiled. “Yeah. I’m not totally sure of the father I’m going to be, but I’ll be as damn close to perfect as I can. You and our child are worth that much. And that’s my choice.”

“Loving you was the best choice I ever made,” Emori said, tears in her eyes. Maybe it was the hormones making her cry or maybe it was the fact that she had so many un-cried emotions over the past couple days. And now that she had her perfectly imperfect John back again. John kissed her passionately, tangling a hand through her hair. 

“I love you,” John told her, in between kisses. Emori smiled against his lips and kissed him back. It didn’t matter if Sanctum was set on fire or the last war of all mankind broke out. John and Emori were going to be okay, being there for each other no matter what. And In turn, John knew that loving Emori was the best choice he ever made. Choosing to love this new baby, the surprise of a lifetime, is going to be more than worth it.

Love is chaos. Love is hard. But love is worth all the chaos, no matter what. Because without a little chaos, there is no love. And who would want to live in a world without that? The answer is, no one.

~

_ [*extremely short* bonus epilogue] _

Murphy was so tired, it was crazy.

Being a new father was hard. Especially because he was trying to make up for the last nine months where he couldn’t do anything while Emori was throwing up or in pain. Besides when it was time for little Alexia to be fed, Murphy had promised that he would get up with the baby. However, after a few practically sleepless nights, he was regretting volunteering his sleep for this.

But looking over his girl, to his other girl made him smile. They were so alike it was crazy. But she had his eyes. And his temper, at least from what he could tell so far. She was a bit of a screamer, which Emori could somehow sleep through. She was her father’s daughter, as Emori had already dubbed on little Alexia.

When Murphy looked at his little angel, he couldn’t believe that at one point in time he didn’t want her. He wasn’t going to be there for her, or her mom. He was just going to walk away because things got hard.

He was thankful he didn’t. Because otherwise he would’ve missed out on all the best things. And he would’ve missed out on future things, such as when Alexia will first learn to walk, to run and to annoy his and Emori’s friends. 

Murphy had made a lot of mistakes in his life. But Alexia was not one of them. He would tell her that for the rest of his life, protecting his two girls for eternity. As Murphy was a cockroach, and he would always be a cockroach. But this cockroach had his family to protect.

Chaos didn’t come without love. Love didn’t come without chaos. And for Murphy, he was lucky to have both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you can :) all feedback (so long as it isn't cruel) is welcome!
> 
> Hope this ending makes up for all the angst I've been forcing at you with the first couple parts. I only want a happy ending for my babies (Murphy&Emori) and if that means married with a baby, great. If that means no baby or marriage but they both live, I'll take that too.
> 
> We only have 7 episodes left until the end of the 100, so let's make it a damn good 7 episodes. Love you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the random cliffhanger ending. You'll just have to wait and see!
> 
> Please leave a comment if you can


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